“Didn’t know Canada had so much water” [Image]

canada google maps

Well, Google Maps is technically correct. Canada is covered with snow, and snow is frozen water. I heard that Canadians hibernate for a full six months to survive the winter, any truth to this?

Hey, hey I have a Canada joke to tell. What are the two seasons in Canada? WINTER AND JULY!

[via Reddit]

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  1. Peter

    A variation on, “You may be a redneck”

    If you prefer winter driving because the potholes are flat with packed snow and ice… you might be Canadian.

    If you know all four seasons — almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction… you might be Canadian.

    If you have more miles on your snow blower than on your car… you might be Canadian.

    If -10C is time to break out the shorts and go for a brisk walk… you might be Canadian.

    And finally, if you hear “Yes, but it’s a dry cold.” you’re on the Canadian Prairies, and if you hear, “Well, it’s warm once you get in.” you’re in the Maritimes.

  2. Peter

    Canada is the second largest country in the world (after Russia) at a little over 10 million square kms. About 9% is water. They are the largest fresh water holdings in the world. That said, the map is misleading. It only shows the Eastern half of Canada, the part that contains most of that water. The western half — Prairies to Rockies and Coast mountains — would show a more balanced image. But I’m guessing that wasn’t what the intent.

    Now, if you really want to make a good joke about the winters here, how about:

    It’s so cold, I couldn’t hear what my neighbour said until I thawed his words.
    It’s so cold I just SAW a reindeer fart (think about it).
    How many seasons in Canada? Two — Hockey season and that other one.

    And of course, we love culture and the arts, so may I present a little poem:

    It’s winter here in Winnipeg and the gentle breezes blow
    80 Kilometres (or ’50 miles’) an hour at 45 below.

    Oh, how I love this land when the snow’s up to your butt.
    You take a breath of fresh air and your nose is frozen shut!

    The weather here is wonderful so I think I’ll stick around.
    I could never leave Canada — I’m frozen to the ground!