Top 10 reasons computers must be male:
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.
In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."
MEN NEVER LISTEN
I got this in an email a few days ago.
I was in Starbucks yesterday when I suddenly realized I
desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud,so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me….
Then I remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and 12 billion dollars to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees C.
The Russians used a pencil.
A man left the snowballed streets of his home town for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached
his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note
was directed instead, to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
I've seen amnesia's email joke a few times before.
And I laugh every time!
Most Users Ever Online: 253
Currently Browsing this Page:
Guest Posters: 9
Newest Members: Ubuntu60, Shyam, nitsujpox, cayci, friedris, follower1
Administrators: Ashraf (1741), Locutus (1886), amnesia (270)