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Jokes. Thread.
Topic Rating: +15 (15 votes) 
March 27, 2010
8:10 PM
yourpalal
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Is that ALL the scenarios they could think of??!!Wink

Al

Life is just a phase you're going through…you'll get over it.
March 27, 2010
10:05 PM
Locutus
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Do you have a problem with it?  Add some more yourself! Laugh

Oh, the site that was :(
March 27, 2010
11:26 PM
yourpalal
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Locutus said:

Do you have a problem with it?  Add some more yourself! Laugh


 

UM……………………I hope you realize I was kiddin, ya know??!!Cool

Life is just a phase you're going through…you'll get over it.
April 4, 2010
9:11 PM
yourpalal
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Attention:

Jokers needed again.

Apply within.

Wink

Life is just a phase you're going through…you'll get over it.
April 12, 2010
1:50 AM
Locutus
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This joke is like paper.  It’s tearable.

This joke is like camping.  It’s in tents.

Also, never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Oh, the site that was :(
April 13, 2010
10:02 PM
yourpalal
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Quite the jokester!

Life is just a phase you're going through…you'll get over it.
April 13, 2010
10:10 PM
yourpalal
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Top 10 reasons computers must be male:

From: http://www.jokesgallery.com/joke.php?joke=5&id=1

 

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

 

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

 

8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.

 

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

 

6. They’ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.

 

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

 

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

 

3. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

 

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

 

1. Size does matter.

 

Life is just a phase you're going through…you'll get over it.
April 13, 2010
11:55 PM
Locutus
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So many inappropriate jokes!! ! ! ! !    !! !  !Surprised  Those aren’t good for the kiddies!

Oh, the site that was :(
April 18, 2010
2:00 AM
Ashraf
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In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men’s restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said “You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.”

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn’t resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don’t have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn’t wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

“What happened?” he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

“The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.”

MEN NEVER LISTEN

April 18, 2010
4:29 AM
Wheezer
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I got this in an email a few days ago.

 

I was in Starbucks yesterday when I suddenly realized I

desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud,so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me….

Then I remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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April 18, 2010
12:26 PM
Locutus
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Oh geez I heard the ATR joke and it was HILARIOUS.

Oh, the site that was :(
April 19, 2010
12:24 AM
amnesia
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When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and 12 billion dollars to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees C.

The Russians used a pencil.

April 19, 2010
7:41 AM
karen
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@amnesia – I’ve seen that before, but I always get a chuckle out of it.

April 19, 2010
5:00 PM
Locutus
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But pencils run out of lead faster than pens run out of ink!

Oh, the site that was :(
April 19, 2010
5:51 PM
Ashraf
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Locutus said:

But pencils run out of lead faster than pens run out of ink!


 

Good thing the Russian saved $12 billion on R&D for the new pen NASA developed – they have plenty of money to buy pencils!

April 30, 2010
11:33 PM
amnesia
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A man left the snowballed streets of his home town for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached
his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

 

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note
was directed instead, to an elderly preacher’s wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the
floor, dead.

 

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

 

Dearest Wife,

 

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

 

Your Loving Husband.

 

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

April 30, 2010
11:39 PM
Wheezer
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I’ve seen amnesia’s email joke a few times before.

And I laugh every time! Smile

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April 30, 2010
11:50 PM
Locutus
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Pure gold.

Oh, the site that was :(
April 30, 2010
11:51 PM
Locutus
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+1


Nuff said.

Oh, the site that was :(
May 1, 2010
1:18 AM
Wheezer
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SurprisedSurprisedSurprised

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