Some guy is preparing to sue Apple, because for some strange reason, he is unable to control himself along with the thing in his pants. Apparently, Nashville attorney, Chris Sevier, wants Apple to protect him from porn when he is browsing the Internet, and even went on to write a 50-page grievance over this problem.

Chris Sevier is quite serious in his intent because he went as far as asking Apple to add a filter to its browser on all Apple devices that automatically blocks pornography content. Sevier feels if someone is at the age of consent and wants to view porn, he/she should be able to contact Apple and request a code to remove the filter… which makes me wonder what would stop this playboy from calling Apple to remove the filter.

A quote from Chris Sevier 50-page write up.

UNFAIR COMPETITION AND INTERFERENCE OF THE MARITAL CONTRACT: The Plaintiff became totally out of synch in his romantic relationship with his wife, which was a consequence of his use of his Apple product. The Plaintiff began desiring, younger more beautiful girls featured in porn videos than his wife, who was no longer 21. His failed marriage caused the Plaintiff to experience emotional distress to the point of hospitalization. The Plaintiff could no longer tell the difference between internet pornography and tangible intercourse due to the content he accessed through the Apple products, which failed to provide him with warnings of the dangers of online pornography whatsoever.

In his 50-page rant, Sevier uses such words like “cyber beauties” and “biological sensibilities of a male.” Now, think about it, is this guy trolling or what? As a grown man, one should have a level of self-control, and if it is not a part of your soul, then the need to see a psychiatrist should be a top priority.

Better yet, how about putting duct tape on the little guy in your pants; after that, cover it with thorns. Now every time you attempt to grab it while viewing porn, you would be painfully reminded of your immense weakness. Wait let me patent that idea.

[via Above The Law]